I know that one of the reasons I’m a fearful flyer has to do with a lack of control. And it’s not that when I’m on a train, for example, I’m in control and I’ve taken on the role as Conductor, but for some reason, I feel if I had to get off that train at any given time, I could. On a plane, not so much.
The idea of control is an interesting one, and it’s one that can be extremely powerful.
In life, there will be plenty of situations you can’t control, whether it be the situation itself or the outcome of that situation. And while you can’t control those things, the one thing you can 100% control is how you respond and your reaction to said situation.
Because here’s the thing: if you think about it, there is really no point whatsoever to get worked up or stressed or anxious or upset over something that you simply cannot control. There’s simply no point. It is a waste of energy and a waste of space in your mind. And while this can be easier said than done, if you put forth that energy towards your reaction to the situation rather than so much on the situation itself, it will make all the difference in the world.
The key here is to first accept what has happened (or what is happening), and I mean fully accept it. To not accept it is to be in denial, which will not serve you in any way. Once you’ve accepted it, take a deep breath, and think about how you can react to the situation. You can get riled up, become anxious, and get angry and frustrated OR you can stay calm and think in a logical, effective manner. What can you do now in terms of your response? The situation is what it is, but your response is totally and completely up to you. How would it be best for you and those involved to respond?
Many times, we want to throw our hands up and scream something similar to ‘but this isn’t fair, it’s ridiculous, and not right!,’ and while it might not be fair, it might be ridiculous, and it might be far from right, it is what it is. It is what it is. You aren’t changing what happened, so let’s move on and make the best of what is. Your thoughts become your reality. Negative thoughts = negative life. So, train yourself (and it certainly takes time, so be patient with yourself and have compassion) to think before you respond, to come to terms with your lack of control in situations, and to respond accordingly. You have complete control when it comes to how you react, so take advantage of that, and let it serve you and those involved in the most positive way possible.
Photography: Matt Henry